Things Venues DO NOT Care About

I’m not bragging, but I have been involved in music in all sorts of aspects for almost 5 years now (yes, even when I was young). I started out by learning photoshop and audacity, then moved on to other computer programs. Then, I started working with different artists and bands trying to improve them. I have been the coordinator, the publicist, the producer, the critic, and occasionally, the rabid fan (Muse anyone?). But something I have noticed more and more is that bands don’t understand exactly how getting a gig works, and far worse, they usually do exactly the opposite of what would get them the show. Any band needs to put themselves in the place of the person who owns the venue, and not to make them sound like crooks, but these venues are usually concerned about how many people you will be bringing to your show. In other words, how much business AKA money will you bring them if they let you play. Even if you aren’t playing, at say, the Handlebar, whatever church or coffeehouse you are playing at is still interested in the customers or face value you’re bringing. In general, venues (or even me if I’m organizing the show) do NOT care about the following things….

1. Who you have played for. Unless you’re playing with them at my show, or it’s a local band with heavy draw.
2. Where you got featured. There is only one paper her called The Greenville News and not many people even read that. Similar to this, I don’t care what press clippings you include in your letter or link to in the email.
3. Who produced your EP. Saying that Rick Rubin produced your album is like saying Emeril Lagasse made your dinner. He’s going to do it for anyone… as long as they can pay.
4. Hometown fame. Self explanatory. Unless you have a bus of hometown fans following you, I don’t care.
5. How good you are. I actually do care how good you are, but I don’t want to hear it from you. Similar to the press thing. Why the hell would you give me or tell me bad things?
6. Last of all, I don’t care what you sound like. If you tell me that your post-grunge, Radiohead influenced trance rock will have my crowd enthralled, I am going to stare at you and nod my head slightly (you can guess what that means). The only reason I care about what you play is so I don’t mis-match bands or overlap fan bases. Personally, I prefer to have a variety of bands, as long as it is all in the same vein of music.